In My Red Heels

Shopping is a girl's best friend. Embrace it; it's already a fact.

What else can lighten up a gloomy mood, stress, or even a broken heart, than a dose of retail therapy? Shopping acts like a wonderful pain reliever, muscle relaxant, Stresstab, Valium(?) and a potent anesthetic rolled into one.

It's remarkable how spending temporarily relieves negative feelings in an instant. Even quite unbelievable how it makes someone throw all her cares away and momentarily forget. Yes, it may be a transient feeling, but it works.

I can only assume that it all becomes possible due to the reality that shopping activities, like watching movies, is escapist in nature. Escapist in the sense that it teleports the person to a happy place where everything is nice and beautiful; a place where one is given all the reasons to pamper herself; a place where she can hear hypnotical voices pounding in her head saying "go ahead, SPLURGE, you SO deserve it!"

So shopping turns a person into some kind of a psycho, eh? Of course not. It's perfectly normal to have feelings of wanting to compensate for pain, loss, anger, frustration or stress. The personal reward system actually works, by making one feel good even for a while.

I remember a college classmate before; whenever she's short with money, she goes to the mall dressed-to-kill and all made up only to spend the entire day window shopping. For her, that activity lifts her spirits up instead of getting frustrated over the things that she couldn't buy.

Amazing.


Fixing a Broken Heart

On the other hand, the negative repercussion of shopping with a broken heart is the credit card bills that need to be settled later on, especially if you spent beyond what you can afford.

Most people turn Machiavellian and rationalize that it's okay and as long as "the end justifies the means". Wallowing in debt and clutching their designer bags while credit card agents harass them over the phone.

No, really, I'm fine.

But if you're an average-salaried employee, it's wise to slow down, stay away from expensive shops and just go to stores where you can buy something nice for a fraction of the price.

There are a lot of Everything $1 dollar or so stores, thrift shops and garage sales around, if you only have very little to spare. Sounds cheap, you might say. But if you think about it, the satisfaction lies in the act of buying something for yourself, so it actually gives you the same feeling without hurting your budget, big time.

Better yet, if you have just enough to buy a Frapuccino or two in Starbucks, grab a friend and do your heart-to-heart talk there after some window shopping. The ambiance is perfect and you can talk and stay as long as you want. Remember not to sip too quickly, though. :)

Good if you're the kind who can just go home, psychologize and sleep over a bad feeling. You're lucky if you're one of those who can deal with it without having to depend on shopping to make you feel better.

Oh, don't we wish most of us could?

Shopping Psychology 101