10/18/2008

Advise Me Not

Posted by KCee |

I have big ears.

Metaphorically speaking, that is. My friends could attest that I’m a good – no – a great listener. You can talk for hours and you are assured of my undivided and sympathetic attention.

In short, I’m a friend who doubles as a good shock absorber.

Since I don’t talk much, I tend to listen more. Others don’t realize there’s a wealth of information that one learns from listening alone. It is wise to limit one's own airtime and listen to other voices aside from your own, once in a while.

Besides, I believe in the saying that the more you talk, the more you are likely to sin. So less talk means fewer mistakes; and no talk, no mistake. Agree?

Through the years, I’ve heard enough real-life dramas and juicy secrets good enough to be featured in soap operas and turn into blockbuster movies. Everybody has his own story to tell. Everybody has his own drama to share. Who doesn’t?

Although I’ve been in this ‘listening career’ for a long time, I can’t still get used to people who cry on my shoulder, seek for advice, and do exactly what I advise them NOT to do.

Sometimes, when you’ve been through irreparable mistakes in the past, it almost comes like second nature to save others, especially your friends and loved ones from making the same mistakes again.

“Been there, done that. Believe me, it doesn’t work.”

How many times have I said this and no one listened? As if it’s not enough that I already cried a river, wallowed in pain and got my heart broken and crushed because I was too stubborn to give up.

I'm a true blue optimist and my head may sometimes be over the clouds, but my feet are still flat on the ground (if I'm not in heels, that is). I'm still very much in touch with reality.

So if I can just whack a friend at the back of her head to give her a wake up call and spare her from all that, I would. But of course, it takes a lot more than that.

Brain surgery, perhaps?

Human nature dictates one’s inherent need to experience first, before learning takes place. Like children, no matter how you protect people from being hurt, they manage to get themselves into small accidents before they learn the lesson by heart, the hard way.

It takes a bruise, a wound, even a little blood to make them realize “I should have listened. I guess pain is a good, if not, the best teacher.


If you don't need it, why ask?

Not all people ask for advice because they need them.

While others are too confused to make their own judgment, I realized that most of them ask, to validate and gather votes for their own decisions. They seek for both sympathy and support, but not advice. I admire people who, regardless of the righteousness of their choices, stand firm for what they believe in.

I know this is all part of the profound meaning of friendship. *Dionne Warwick sings* "Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me for sure..." Ugh.

I love my friends like real siblings, but I'm the kind who will tell you as it is; not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. I will try to make you see what you are too disillusioned to realize.

Yes, I'm the type who will tell you if you have something stuck in your teeth, if you ate too much garlic, or if the clothes you're wearing are so not making you look thin.

I may seem like the villain in your you and me against the world love story and even hurt your feelings in the process, but isn't that real friendship all about?

Honesty?


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5 comments:

entrepgirl said...

hi sis! i'm providing free ad space this oct. you might wanna drop by and include your widget! :)

entrepgirl said...

i've got an award for you! :)

entrepgirl said...

of course you can have your card in my ad space. just leave me the url of your .jpg 125x125 pixel image and the url of your site. the latest image appears on the upper left corner and it "pushes" the other images so that the bottom right image is bounced off. there's no need to be wait listed, it's just first in first out. :)

entrepgirl said...

p.s.

here is the link

http://entrepgirl.blogspot.com/2008/10/post-your-ads-for-free-this-october.html

Shawie said...

nice article, ur friends are so lucky to have you:)
one thing I'm so grateful about my husband- so straight forward- he's my sanity when I'm getting insane, LOL... it's nice when there's somebody to give u the honest and helpful advice..a great feeling when there's somebody who gives the right judgment when u feel so confused & lost... that's why there's always a coach in every sport:)

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